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| "Why world... Whyyyyy?" Said Humpty Dumpty. |
In the one instance... The path of life I once thought I'd walk on until the day I die-- once a beautifully paved walkway decorated with self-sacrifice and glorious altruism... now seems to lead into hell without the ease of strolling on a smooth cement pavement, but rather a swampy mud road that slushes like snow with every strainous stroke of the foot I make.
*pant* *pant*
However, What is ironic about this change... is not the shifty path that leads into hell. I already knew the destination was towards hell, but do I look like the kind of person to bring a knife to a gun fight?
Of course not, I wouldn't be in a gun fight to begin with, how ludicrous.
You see my friends... I haven't lowered the torch and given up the fight. At least, that's what I'd like to believe.
We should not discriminate against paths that shift and swerve. After all, didn't we know that the perils would be treacherous?
Of course. If you're going to do battle with Hell, then prepare for Hell to come. We knew how wild and unpredictable the treacherous road would be. Things only change when you know not how they stay the same.
The road was already known. It was Cartographed. In its twist and turns, though shifty to the traveler, the warning and maps would swear everything is as it should be.
I was just too unfortunate to not change with it. Not adapt to the shifting geography of the terrain.
That must be how Life goes... that must be how young lords and ladies turn into the acrid adults they came from.
I once felt like I was contributing to this ideological universe I swore I'd build a residence in for all my life. But the quality of those contributions seem to dwindle by the day.
I cannot be useful if I am unable to make a qualitative contribution.
In this first instance, therefore, my heart is torn to think I might have to fly away from an organization I thought to be the commander of morality.
Rollin' dem sleeves up
But on the other hand... I'm not a bad person. I still want to do good. But I wonder how valid contemplation is. Because... well, let's be real:
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| real talk |
Because there is a good,
and then there is THE good.
Holding doors for old ladies and being the friendly neighborhood community gardener is not my cup of tea if I am going to secure my immortality.
I meet these people all the time, who think they're good because they give money to X organization or walked X amount of old ladies across the street or don't mess with people in general.
The World's full of bullshit artist and all of them don't even know it.I myself fear that I should become a bullshit artist if I decide to leave what I had held dear.
But it's just obvious that staying on this same path isn't sensible as well.
It is not sensible for me. I am a qualitative person after all. I want to wake up knowing today will be a productive day and going to bed knowing tomorrow shall be twice more productive.
I want to be able to say "I was as productive as three workin' people sunny" just before I die old.
But my current state of being qualitative: no muy bueno Meng. No muy bueno.
That's why I want to persue a few alternative paths that I believe shall assist the still-living ambition that will exist in the future.
The only problem with that is...
The World is going to hell NOW!!
God, what a beast of a decision to tackle...
It's a mighty paradox that seeks to engulf me...
The worst of it is... Everyone else on this planet is facing the same adversary.
It's just that kind of time when you gotta roll up dem sleeves and put ya dukes up and get bloody and offensive and all that uncowardly stuff, ya know?
There just isn't time to whimper and be a victim of fear.
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| No Hidding from This The Eyes of the World are Upon Us All of Time Await in breathless Fear |
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