There is a kind of nostalgia that looks back at the past, at the adolescent, and becomes ensaddened that some experiences that occurred during that era shall never be revisited again,
like some great friend that has flown away from you for good.
These experiences-- regardless of whether the adolescent era was a good or bad era-- might inadvertently trick thee in thinking that it shall forever be associated with your youth...
So really, in a twist of irony, twas not that wonderful friend that left on a journey, but twas you that left that wonderful friend to set upon an adventure, leaving him behind.
But in discovering such a tragic revelation in this fateful caffeine-induced night, immediately after so I was visited with a second, more countering revelation... That wonderful friend had come to me to tell me that I was not a fool, that I was not his inadvertent heart-breaker.
How funny it was, that I should want to have experienced that past I thought I lost, and to have that wish come true... but in living in that wish, I had come to realize that... I was a fool to think that such experiences that I associated with the past had gone away for good.
Those experiences were always there, they still are here.
I don't know if any of you lovely people have held nostalgia for things you believe are forever trapped in the past, but in vigorous writing and interacting with this moment in time, I discovered that such experiences were never confined to the youth...
They exist outside the kingdom of time.
They are like us, living breathing characters that, being individuals like we are, though being the same person from their birth-to-death, they nevertheless change,
So that, though they have an association with my youth... that same character has grown up and has left another mark in this current time that shall soon be a past that I will contemplate on, feeling that experience again whence I'm older.
So, though this wonderful friend is the same, it is yet also very different... but not different enough to summon that despairing element romancing with that experience.
THE WISH WAS NOT GRANTED THOUGH I RECEIVED ITS REWARD
Indeed, the billions of beautiful things that I associated with that adolescent era of the past had come back that fateful caffeine-induced night, so much so that you can say I lived a fantasy, or a dream... for the wish had indeed come true...
But what came about that night was not a miracle of the gods pitying me with a taste of some foolish, finite desire.
The visiting of this past was not on any romantic terms, and definitely not to grant some arbitrary wish...
It would not ever come if such summoning reasons were so menial.
It came and gave me the discovery stated above on more nobler terms.
What I was doing when I was young...
Was what I discovered I was doing presently... just not enough of it.
I was adhering to destiny. I always did.
But the destiny of the past... is not the destiny of the present.
And my commitment to tackle the destiny of the present was not as strong as it was when I was tackling it in the past.
(WHAT IS DESTINY?)
Well, to keep it short, and most pure and simple: all forms of destiny are composed of an intention braving the future.
(I say 'intention' and not 'entity' because all intentions bare the semblance of being an entity or being married to one, but not all entities, like a rock, have intentions)
Thats what we all do. We brave the future, and do what we can in the present to further understand and develop the future(and being that whatever we do, inevitably reverberates out into existence... it is reasonable to thus say the term "future" and "existence" can be used interchangeably, for they are one and the same.)
So that "experience" of the past... it is this.
But I haven't been "experiencing" it enough because I was braving a false destiny... For the destiny of my adolescent was to be a prominent 'story creator' (as I called it)...
The destiny of now is to save mankind...
and so adhering to a child's destiny as a main focus is ludicrous and tragic, because it isn't the true destiny anymore.
It is demoted to merely a goal.
The true destiny, dear wayfarer, is to do whatever you can to serve the continual development of humanity.
To achieve human immortality by serving humanity, and having your service reverberate throughout the generational development of humanity through its eternal travel within its great destiny of exacting creation upon this creativity-demanding universe.
I have to remember why I became a political activist, why I had to be.
To bring back these kinds of conceptions of man and creativity back into policy-making.
To make Presidents that thought like this once-upon-a-time.
To do this, no matter how pessimistic and hopeless an entire society, an entire generation had accepted themselves to be.
That is what I am destined to do, and that is what now unites the past and present... and future as well.
So Wayfarer, keep ya head up.
|Coffee & Cookies & Amen|
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